Friday, July 4, 2014

The Idiots on Road

Life is full of idiots. You meet them everywhere, in school, college, in disguise of friends, offices, parks, on train/bus, museums et al.

There is apparently no scientific, logistic or emotional method yet discovered to save yourself from them. They just hover around you, waiting to catch you off-guard so they can make your day miserable.

Without elaborating further into their kinds and origins, I will straight take you one of their types that is found on roads. Yes, you would have met several on buses, train or while driving your car or two-wheeler on road.  You travel in your personal vehicle for convenience and boink... boink…; there is party of idiots waiting for you on roads. Who are they? Where they come from? No one know but, I advice, you must be extremely careful of them. They can be dangerous, even more dangerous than Tobacco and can even cost your life.

Disclaimer: With this article, I do not intent to hurt anyone feelings or bring disgrace to any person living or dead. It is sarcastic piece writing, keeping in mind the nuisances going on road. The article is written for fun purpose and should be read with keeping that factor in mind.
Here are some of their kinds that I find loitering everyday on roads.

  •         The  'Jumping' idiots

Apparently, these idiotic people love to hide behind bushes or sections on road. And just when you are driving at normal speed… Plomp… they appear. Beware! You cannot sight them from far because they believe in near death! If you put sudden brakes, you save them and open up chance of your suicide. If you do not apply brakes, hell yeah, you will kill them and will get strangled by police. Because, they are people na, who communicate only by foot! I am telling you damn them!

  • The ‘Cut-the-edge’ idiots

These are over-smart drivers, a brother of your clan, who thinks that roads have been created just for him. He will often be seeing driving a bike, without helmet and with earphone on. These species love to overtake girls and perform zip-zap-zoom in front of them, hoping ki koi pat jayegi. Little do these idiots know that they are making themselves laughing stock amongst all fellow drivers.  But, if only these idiots were aware that while ‘cutting-the-edge’, they might get themselves cut forever. I am praying for that day!

  •          The ‘Chatter-box’ idiots

These species often have girls, women and ladies of all ages involved. Normally, you would see them, crossing roads blindly after returning from shopping or college or eating pani-puri. They think that world revolves around them. If ever saved from having an accident, these idiots to put up a fake smile. Arre beheno, tumhari  jaan bachai hai, thank you naam ki bhi ko chiz hoti hai. Use sikhe ke aao phele!

  •       The ‘Cool dude’ idiots

The ‘Cool dude’ idiots are our brothers who think if women can, why can’t we? Yep, you got it. These are the species who would walk hands-in-hands with their bf’s and suddenly knock themselves in front of your vehicle. Guess, what they do when saved? They smile! Imagine, they think that the world will forgive them because of their style. Arre bhai, learn to be a man first and if you cannot, have a sex change operation.

  •          The ‘Honking’ idiots

These are most common species you would encounter anywhere. When you are waiting for the signal to turn green and more impatiently waiting for the people in front of you to move, these honking idiots would just drop in. they  would constantly nag and irritate you with their honking. I think this clan is blind, as they cannot see the signal and the line in front of them.

  • The ‘Group’ idiots

Last on the list but deadly of all, these idiots are people who jump on roads with their huge family, friends or relatives. What more, they hop like kangaroos but, in scatter way. One of their member will be near section, another one will be in front of you, next would have crossed roads so on and so forth. But basically, if you come in contact with them, than only lord can save you!

So next, time, before hitting roads; be loaded with weapons that can save you. If you need to add any other idiots to this category, do mention in comments.


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